Icarus
by DSISandraPullman39
Summary: One vow broken, another made. One that could and would lead them so close to the sun at times they felt the heat of it threaten to melt the wax holding their new found love together. Yet as fingers touch over the space between them no risk seems too great to call "Icarus" and give in yet again.


**Icarus **

**Disclaimer:-** Don't own them just borrowing!

**Episode:-** None

**Pairing:- **Jean/James

**Rating:- **T

**Achieve:- ** ** . /group/lewisffarchive/**

**Summary:- **One vow broken, another made. One that could and would lead them so close to the sun at times they felt the heat of it threaten to melt the wax holding their new found love together. Yet as fingers touch over the space between them no risk seems too great to call "Icarus" and give in yet again.

**Author's Note:- **Short , a bit unusual and a little fun (I think) enjoy and reviews would be lovely!

"No!"

"Yes!"

"I said no!"

"You mean yes"

"Not this time!"

"Why not?"

"You know why now."

"You're not being fair."

"Whoever said any of this would be fair?"

"No one but right now it's really not fair."

"You knew what you were getting into, you knew with could and likely would happen."

"Later?"

"I can't promise but if I can I will you know that."

"And you'll come as you are?"

"If that's what you want."

"You know it is."

Eyes meet and she knows what's coming. She knows that the word he's about to say is there for a reason and it's one neither of them uses lightly. It's one that if uttered can't be ignored and it can't be refused. That's one of many rules they live by but she knows tonight he's going to say it, she knew the second she walked into the ball room on the arm of her husband in a dress that was purely for James Hathaway's benefit not that of the man she'd spent the last 25 years falling out of love with. Did she do it deliberately? Had she known when she stood in front of the mirror and checked her appearance that last time that it would go this way? Of course she had, she'd long ago given up trying to defend herself or come up with excuses. She loved it when he looked at her from the other side of the room and she knew he couldn't control his need for her. When he leaned toward her, his lips close to her ear she knew what was coming and felt her breath catch in her throat as the mixture of cigarette smoke and aftershave that was quintessentially him filled her senses.

"Icarus."

"Give me half an hour then make the call. I'll see you at your place."

Hearts race, promises are exchanged in the meeting of finger tips and he's gone as the irony of their code word hits her again. It had been born of one too many events just like this were desires were set alight when the presence of her husband or their colleagues made the ability to act on them impossible. It was chosen for it's appropriateness, for the fact that allowing these dalliances from the normal careful nature of their affair was exactly like flying too close to the sun yet no less addictive and exhilarating.

"Can't you stop working for one night? God Jean I don't know why I bother coming to these things with you are all."

A false smile, one too practiced now to be seen through, a turn on her carefully picked stiletto heels and she counts down the minutes until she knows her phone will ring. His hatred of these events negates any guilt she might feel were guilt still part of the equation. She knows he'll feign irritation when she says she has to go. He'll sulk for as long as it takes for her to be out of sight then he'll thank his lucky stars for the fact she's so "dedicated" so ready to drop everything and grant him his freedom from duty. Duty he is undertaking less and less these days. She'll tell him it's going to be a long night and not to wait up, he'll tell her he'll stay in town at his club rather than going home. Neither of them will actually be doing what they claim to be, one lie cancelling out the other on the grand score board of martial betrayal. There was a time when she took comfort in the fact that even if she spent every night with James the score on that board would never be tied. There was a time when she balanced her new adultery with his long standing one and argued that she's tried harder, fought longer but she had long since stopped caring. Cosmic score boards be damned. For the first time in too long she felt like someone was truly in love with her and that was worth any betrayal against the man now staring at her with barely contained irritation in his eyes.

"Sorry darling, big case, constant developments you know how it is."

"Yeah; me and every other spouse of an officer in this room." The contempt in his tone was her final undoing. Turning her back, off to do her duty and pass herself with the chief constable she ignored the sigh he gave. These balls were all about stroking her superiors ego, something she'd become adept at over the years.

"Forget half an hour make it fifteen minutes." She typed the message into her phone before dropping it into her clutch bag and smiling again at yet another man she had no desire to talk to that evening.

"Fantastic event as always sir."

"Thank you Jean, I see young Hathaway bending you ear, you all working hard as always?"

"You know us sir always something on the books the criminal fraternity of Oxford is no respecter of normal business hours."

Small talk exchanged until her phone chirps on cue. Excuses made as she feels eyes bore into her back, eyes she knows are willing the call to be his escape route as well as hers yet still glare at her in insincere irritation as she turns.

"You take the car I'll get a lift home from the station I've no idea what time that'll be."

"I'll be at the club. Aren't you going home to change?"

"I'll do it at the office there's stuff there from the cleaners I forgot to bring home."

Tail lights fade, a second to make sure they aren't returning, exactly twelve steps to the dark blue car she noticed as soon as they stepped outside.

"Problems?"

"No real ones, the usual performance we both stopped believing fooled me long ago."

"You knew I'd not be able to resist you in that dress."

"Maybe I was wondering if you still remembered."

"I'd never forget. How could I? I didn't think you'd ever let me see it again."

"I've been saving it."

Silence falls; the drive is short but long enough to bring back memories of that first night. Same dress, different event. Stolen glances, a night they shared and swore would be only one both knowing it never could be. A sin repeated over and over in the months since and about to be again. One vow broken, another made. One that could and would lead them so close to the sun at times they felt the heat of it threaten to melt the wax holding their new found love together. Yet as fingers touch over the space between them no risk seems too great to call "Icarus" and give in yet again.


End file.
